Wednesday, December 28, 2011

On those New Year resolutions

'Tis that time of year yet again ! the time that brings us to reflect on the last year and what was good, what was bad, what we would rather forget and what made us proud.

I wonder why we tend to do this only as the New Year approaches. Why just at that time ? after all, shouldn't we reflect on this more than once a year. I mean maybe we should make our resolutions on our birthday. This would be so much more personal. We would not be following the crowds and we wouldn't feel pressured into making the same old resolutions. You know the ones...lose weight, start exercising, stop smoking.

So I will NOT be making resolutions this year. I never go through with them anyway. I will wait until a more appropriate time (for me at least).

But I can look back at this year and learn from it.
I can say that this year has been one of many challenges and many questions. One of great things and incredible frustrations.

One of the major highlights of this year was our cross-country move back to South Carolina. This brought so many good things and yet so many new headaches. Moving takes a toll on any family, usually a big financial one and some emotional ones. I have to say this was one of the most positive moves when it comes to the emotional level, at least for three out of four members of our family. I have seen some incredible changes in my daughter in the last 6 months. She seems happier and more confident. I have seen an improvement in my son's health (and mine) since moving away from the dust and pollution of Arizona.

And yet, this is the toughest year yet for us in other ways. We are facing difficulties we have never had before. The struggles are taking a toll. The things we had hoped would happen have not and we are sinking deeper than ever. Some sacrifices have had to be made. It is hard to stay positive some days.

On a personal level I am trying to reevaluate parts of my life, trying to find my purpose. I want to learn from the challenges and failures I have had in those last 12 months. I feel as if I am not as focused as I may need to be, or maybe it is that I have not found the right thing to focus on. I don't know. I want to figure out for myself how much I can change or at least how much I am willing to without changing who I really am.

The thing that bothers me the most is the feeling that I do not know how to fix it, how to make it better. One of my Strengths is Strategic so you would think I could find my way. But somehow I feel lost right now. I am not sure that anyone but me will be able to help me find the right solution. Maybe it is just a matter of time for me to find it. Or is is timing ?

Either way, I can only hope that 2012 brings some clarity in my life and my mind.

I have to say that no matter what, I am grateful for so many things. I should not complain as so many others have it so much worse than I do. I should be grateful -and I am- that I have my family, my dog, a good job, a roof over my head. And that as bad as things seem at times, in the grand scheme of things they could be so much worse.

I am grateful that the last year has brought continued friendships and new ones. Grateful that I have been given new opportunities and chances to grow in ways I didn't expect just as I thought others had been taken away. I am grateful that I can smile every day because there is always someone there to give me a smile or hello or a hug. I am grateful that I myself can make someone's day by helping them one way or another.

I am grateful to the customers who tell me how much they appreciated my help. They make me feel like I am on the right path.

I am grateful for those I work with who make me feel part of a team and brighten my days. I am grateful for the ones who lend an ear and share their concerns with me because they make me feel like I am their friend and I trust them and they trust me. I am grateful for those who made me feel that way in Arizona also. I miss them everyday and love to hear how they are doing.

Overall I am grateful that in 2011 I was still around to see it all, take it all in, the good, the bad and the ugly. I am grateful that I am able to celebrate another New Year with my family and friends.

I only hope for all of my friends and relative that the New Year brings more joys than sorrow, more positives than negatives. I wish all of them a great year filled with love, friendship and dreams fulfilled. And please don't worry about those pesky resolutions. Who ever keeps them anyway ?

Wishing for Peace this New Year !

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