Friday, May 29, 2009

on the importance of recognition

yes, what a trivial concept ! Recognition. We give it plentifully to our dogs and other pets and yet only sparingly to our friends and co-workers. Why is that ?
Why can't we see that our wonderful hounds love doing things to make us happy and that in most cases the same is true to other humans we interact with ?

Case in point: I work for a company that is great about recognizing talents and contributions. Yet every store will be different, and for that matter, every manager will be too. After all we are all human.
So lately I have been wondering why it is that my team hasn't been recognized ever for their contributions. I will spare you the details but last month is the month we should have been recognized. We were put in a very difficult situation and not only survived it but indeed excelled. Sadly, not only did we not get what I would feel is deserved kudos, but in fact we even got "put down".
So what do you think happened ? well after I spoke my mind to all involved, I pretty much decided to go. As in I want to move on to another place where I will either get a little pat on the back every now and then or at least where I will feel that what I do matters.
So you may tell me that not every one gets recognition on a regular basis. So true...
what if instead of recognition we called it awareness. I just want those in charge to be aware of my contributions. That way I won't have to feel like I have to go on strike for someone to finally realize how much I do.
Funny how I should say that about work when my other job is one where recognition is also in short supply and awareness probably will never exist: that's right, I am a MOM !
So tell me: could the fact that I am a mom -tough work and never recognized as one of the toughest jobs on Earth - could that make me want more recognition at work ? I do wonder. I would definitely love to hear what other moms have to say about that ?
Is that why we may be labeled high-maintenance or difficult ?
Of course, as any mom could tell you, practically no man would be able to hold down a job while juggling two kids schedules, household chores, the possibility of having to take days off because of a sick child - or the guilt of not wanting or being able to do so. But that's beside the point. And yes some men do go through those same struggles. But not as many as women I think.

I will end with this one piece of advice: why don't you treat your friends, co-workers and family as you do your pet: a hug for a job well done, a treat every now and then when they follow directions and a "that's a good boy / girl" when they go above and beyond your expectations. You may even find that in return you will get what your pet gives you: pride, a sense of well-being and excitement about a job well done. Who knows what else this will start ?

Sunday, May 24, 2009

a little background !

so some of my friends may not really know that much about me. I realize I am very much an open book when it comes to my emotions but who could really say they know where I comne from and what made me who I am today ?
so I thought maybe a little background is necessary.
I was born and raised in France, in Normandy to be more precise and in the suburb of the great city of Rouen to be exact. Of course being French has had a lot of influence on how I live my life. I am stubborn as many French people are. I also have managed to keep some of my French-iness while becoming quite American. In fact my own family thinks I am now all American LOL
I left France when I was 20 years old and after a short 5 months in Alberta, Canada, I landed in New Jersey. There I was a live-in nanny to a family for 4 and a half years.
I eventually met my husband and shortly after we got married I moved to the state that I will always consider my real home: South Carolina. This is the place where I will return someday and I truly cannot wait !
So lately I have been feeling sad that my own children never got to experience where their own mother comes from.
Can you imagine not being able to share some of those classics you grew up with with the little ones you love so much ? That's how it is for me...
I didn't grew up with Goodbye Moon, I grew up with Bonne Nuit les Petits. But I cannot share that with my children because they do not speak French.
Can you imagine not being able to read Velveteen Rabbit to your kids because they do not understand what you are reading ?
Oh don't get me wrong, I did try to teach them French ! but the whole world around them was in English, including their father. School, TV, music - all in English.
So after a while I couldn't get them to reply in French any more. And I gave up.
Try and imagine a child who cannot speak to their own grandparents. That's how my kids are. Sad isn't it ?
Of course if I couold have taken them to France on a regular basis, maybe it wouldn't have been so bad. But we cannot afford a trip to France for a family of four.
In fact the last time we all went was 8 years ago.Since then I have lost more family members than I care to count. People I hadn't seen in years.
I had not seen my own mother for two years when she passed away. I haven't seen my father and brothers in 8 years.
Don't get me wrong...that can sometimes be a blessing LOL
but that also means my kids do not know their own family.
I keep hoping that someday I will win the lottery and be able to take my fanily to France once a year so my brothers can know their niece and nephew and so my father can see his grandchildren.
Somedays I even wish that my in-laws wouldn't live this far so that my kids would enjoy that side of their family more. But once again there can be something to be said for distance between family members :)
My father told me years ago that I shouldn't complain because I am the one who decided to leave. He had a point. But here is the morale of tonight's rant: just because you made a choice doesn't mean it doesn't hurt sometimes. Whether it be a divorce, a move, changing jobs, some decisions will hurt even when you know you made the right one.
And I still have no regrets, no matter how much it hurts sometime.

so I joined the blog world !

so here I am, joining the blog world tonight and wondering why exactly I felt compelled to do so.
What do I have to contribute and why would anyone be interested in reading about me and my thoughts ?
well honestly I don't really know.
However I can't help but think that maybe someday, somehow, there will be one person who will be able to relate to something I wrote. Maybe this one person will suddenly realize that there are others out there who feel the same way or have experienced the same things.
Maybe someday there will be someone who will smile reading one of my crazy rants and that person just happened to really need a smile that day.
So why not start a blog then ?
and why not share with others ? I do hope that you too will feel free to share your comments and thoughts because after all sharing is a two way street :)